A New Take on an Old Tale: Don Quixote Meets the Donald

By CHARLES HOWE | Jul 11, 2018

“For he is the one who never sleeps, and loves sowing discord and spreading resentment, building squabbles in the wind and fabricating fights out of nothing.”

Whoa! Where did that come from?

Who could this possibly be talking about? I’m certainly not the first to draw a comparison between the legendary Don Quixote de la Mancha and our very own current Knight Errant, the Donald of the Golden Hair. I’m sure if Cervantes were alive today, he would jump at the possibility of this new adventure involving all of the players in and around the Capital of D.C.

What fun it would be to keep track of the new Squire of the Knight of the Golden Hair, Mike of Pence, who at the snap of the Knight’s fingers follows him around like a lap dog. Now we have the new Councilor, Rudy of Julli, the court jester who always seems to be on pins and needles. Then there are the hatchet men and women who sit at the table doing his bidding and causing destruction.

And let’s not leave out the Dukes of the Hill, who extol his vision, then hide when asked to do the right thing for the peasants. We might want to digress a bit and introduce the illustrious and peerless Lady Dulcinea, Mistress of Don Quixote’s action and movements. And of course that other Mistress, Lady Stormy, whom our Knight of the Golden Hair would just as soon have us forget. But we don’t have to remind him, “Whenever good fortune comes knocking at your door, let her in.”

I’m not sure if the Donald of Trump would like to be compared to the famous Knight Errant Don Quixote. After all, who knowingly would want to be referred to as a madman? But on the other hand, a defender of honor, justice and truth? A true Knight Errant would first of all be a good Christian. Next, he would be expected to be truthful and honorable in his profession. It is also important to not have a tendency to heap affliction on the afflicted.

Well, it looks like we have covered a lot of territory here. You may want to know that Cervantes enjoyed writing in the third person now and again. Me, too!

For the sake of digressing again, let’s say that Donald of the Golden Hair, during his formidable school years, may have been asked to read what many consider to be the first great novel, and ponder the great virtues contained therein. Perhaps this might be a good timeout period with the hope that our new Knight Errant might give us an inspiring tweet about the exploits of the famous Don Quixote. Or not! Perhaps this would be a good time to pause, with the idea of further exploration. If the Donald of the Golden Hair has read Don Quixote, what lesson would he have learned? What would that inspiring tweet say?

In closing, I hope that you will view this as satire, and, to be sure that I’m not accused of spreading “false” classic literary work, I will exit stage left and leave you with classic Cervantes: “Birds of a feather stick together” and “Any history that has ever been written has its ups and downs.”

I’d like to acknowledge the works of Miguel de Cervantes, and add a note of appreciation for inspiring me to read the next chapter, and the next one and on.

To Sancho Panza, squire, protector and dear friend of the legendary Knight Errant, thank you for your loyalty.

To Lady Dulcinea, mistress of all actions and movements, who by the way has become disenchanted, goodbye.

And to the famous one (not our new Knight Errant), Don Quixote, the brave, wise one, the lover, the righter of wrongs, the guardian of minors and orphans, and the protector of widows, farewell.

Charles N. Howe lives in Punta Gorda, Fla., and Surf City.

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