More Non-Misses

Aug 23, 2017

To the Editor:

My congratulations to Anthony DiSipio on a very humorous column (“Summer Bummers: What I Didn’t Miss Being Off-Island,” 8/16). His reflections about our northern visitors (also known as bennys) and how he missed their behavioral tendencies, by not being on the Island this summer, was priceless and, moreover, the truth.  

Following Mr. DiSipio’s lead, and taking a cue from David Letterman, here are a few other items that could be added to the list of the things he doesn’t miss:

• After arriving on the Island, they’re always pulling into Ron Jon’s because they think it’s a Chinese takeout place.

• Trying to download the app on their cell phones that will tell them which beach on Long Beach Island is closest to the “watah.”

• Two words: Jet Skis (sometimes called Benny Skis).

• Aimlessly wandering  the aisles of the Acme blabbering into their cell phones and getting in everybody’s way while doing so.

• Driving in the left-hand lane of the Boulevard because they think its the best place to get Wi-Fi reception.

• The rear window of mega SUVs covered with EXIT 63, LBI, flip-flops and CUSE decals/stickers.

• Addidas flip-flops worn with black socks, basketball shorts almost as long as pants, Yankees hat worn backwards, and a muscle shirt that reads, “I’m from Hoboken ... How Ya Doin’.”

• Trying to take selfies while paddleboarding.

• When sprawled out at the beach, always shooting their mouths off about how “da Yankees are gonna win dis year, just youze wait and see.”

• And finally traffic in the left-hand lane of the Boulevard completely bumper to bumper, from Holgate to Ship Bottom and from Barnegat Light to Ship Bottom, after Labor Day weekend.

Hal Savage

Beach Haven Terrace


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